54 Funny dead quotes

• Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

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  1 week ago

  behavior, cop, dead, funny behavior, humor, me, over, playing, playing dead, police, police stop, stop, traffic, traffic stop

• My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

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  1 week ago

  communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word

• Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

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  1 week ago

  1868, dead, dead horse, going, hell, historical, horse, humor, imagine, outside, situationship

• Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

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  1 week ago

  both, dead, driving, faster, frustration, here, honk, humor, i, impatience, just, me, parking, parking spot, rage, road, road rage, sit, someone, spot, stubbornness, traffic, us, waiting

• I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

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  1 week ago

  accidental, accidental click, accidentally, ad, advertisement, click, dead, digital, digital life, guess, humor, i, life, marketing, online, online ad, over, phone, pop-up, pop-up ad, product, tracking

• The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

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  1 week ago

  alive, balance, dead, enough, humor, just, know, life, pain, spot, sweet, sweet spot, wish

• If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

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  1 week ago

  babe, back, breakup, comeback, dating, dead, energy, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, me, relationship, sarcasm, stay

• Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

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  1 week ago

  apple, apples, beer, beers, couple, dead, drinking, feeding, game, gaming, getting, horse, humor, just, petting, red, Red Dead Redemption, redemption, relaxation, video, video game

• The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

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  1 week ago

  dark, dark humor, dead, death, humor, keep, keeping, only, people, secret, secret keeping, three, trust

• 80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

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  1 week ago

  age, anything, comment, comment section, dark, dark humor, dead, death, full, future, humor, humor quote, internet, mortality, people, sarcasm, section, time, want

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