A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Commentary:
Oh no, poor bird! 🐦 At least it’s still alive, even if its pride took a little hit. It’s probably hoping none of the other birds saw the clumsy mishap! 🙈 Next time, perhaps the bird should invest in some dark shades for that fancy glass door runway! 😎 #BirdsWithoutBoundaries

I’m only dead on the outside.

I’m only dead on the outside.

Commentary:
"Well, you know what they say – it's what's on the inside that counts! 💀😂 But hey, at least you're keeping it lively on the exterior! 🌟 #UndeadAndProud"

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Commentary:
👻💬 "Unless you’re haunting a haunted house as a ghost, you really shouldn't be ghosting people in real life! 👻✨ Stay visible and communicative, folks! Who you gonna call? Not the ghostbusters, that's for sure! 😂📞" 🚫👻 #CommunicationIsKey #NoGhostingAllowed

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Commentary:
"Ah, the Christmas tree – the eternal symbol of holiday cheer and existential crisis all rolled into one! 🎄✨ Just remember, even if you're feeling a bit like a withered old pine inside, you can always put on a dazzling light show for the world to see. Shine on, you festive gem! 💫"

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is mostly dead inside, but hey, at least they still have some feeling in their legs! 🤣💀 #HalfwayThere"

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Commentary:
"Note to self: Bears are not fluffy cuddle buddies 🐻 Better stick to petting kittens next time, much safer and less likely to end up as a woodland creature's lunch! 😅"

There's no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Commentary:
Well, zoinks! 🕵️‍♂️ It's like, "Jinkies, Velma! Another missing person? Let's not split up this time! 😂" Looks like Shaggy and Scooby's snacks might have distracted them from the real mysteries lurking in those haunted mansions! 🐕💨👻

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Commentary:
Looks like someone mistook "pet bed" for "people bed" and poor Goldie didn't stand a chance! 🐠💤 #SleepingWithTheFishes #FishOutOfWater

I've never wished a man dead, but I've read some obituaries with great pleasure.

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Commentary:
"Talk about taking 'rest in peace' to a whole new level! 😅💀 Sounds like this person wasn't just checking the obituaries, they were checking them off their hit list! 🎯😂 #Savage"

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Commentary:
"Remember, even in the spooky world of dating ghosts, always show some respect 👻🚫 Unless you're into haunting relationships, then go ahead and send a ghostly 'Boo!' 🎃😄 Just keep it ghostly chic, darling! 💁‍♂️💀"