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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

17,807 funny quotes topics

Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

306 Funny getting quotes

Funny getting quotes 😂 is like going on a treasure hunt for your sense of humor 🎯. You never know what you’ll find—something side-splitting or maybe just a giggle-inducing gem 🤣. It’s like opening a fortune cookie, but instead of fortunes, it’s a never-ending stream of punchlines and puns. Dive into this comedic adventure and let the laughter roll like a stand-up routine on a Friday night! 🎤🎉

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Everyone is getting idioter.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

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