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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1846 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,008

Funny Quotes Topics

14,804

Funny Quotes Images

12,008

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Spotted on Discord:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Just shared via YouTube:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Trending via Telegram:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Home » Funny Getting Quotes » Page 4

216 Funny getting quotes

More funny getting quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Commentary:
When even the ghosts know the toddler is the real boss of 3 a.m. 😂👻🍼
5 days ago
Share →: It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Commentary:
Wow, we've officially entered the "mystery flavor" zone of life 🍭🕵️‍♂️🤔
5 days ago
Share →: My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Commentary:
I'm convinced Time Travel exists, but only in my optimistic morning routine 🚀⏰😂
5 days ago
Share →: Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Commentary:
While everyone's busy with vows and baby names, I'm over here perfecting my in-depth analysis of why blue is the superior color! 🎨😂
6 days ago
Share →: If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Commentary:
Can someone point me to the ATM that dispenses "confusion cash"? 💸🤔😅
1 week ago
Share →: Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Commentary:
Guess we should've brought popcorn for this apocalyptic premiere 🍿😅📉
2 weeks ago
Share →: It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Commentary:
Feeling fancy while contemplating existential questions with a $19 burger 😎🍔💸
2 weeks ago
Share →: Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Commentary:
Is it bad that I start practicing my surprised-but-not-really face every time I make plans? ❄️😅🎉
2 weeks ago
Share →: If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Commentary:
When the stars just can't decide if we're besties or frenemies 🌟🤔😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Commentary:
Looks like my vision is starting to give me a wrinkle discount! 👓😂

For even more funny getting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny getting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Just landed via Telegram:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Spotted on Instagram:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Live now on Instagram:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Spotted on Discord:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

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Activity Log ✨

216 Funny getting quotes

More funny getting quotes 👇

For even more funny getting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny getting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

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