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82 Funny guy quotes

Trending Funny Guy Quotes 🔥

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!
I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?
I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.
I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.
A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

More funny guy quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Commentary:
"Trying to fix a broken person and expecting a different outcome is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. 🤦‍♀️ Maybe it's time to upgrade to someone who comes pre-assembled! 😉🔧"
3 months ago
Share →: I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Commentary:
Well, seems like the snooze button inventor hit the peak of their productivity with that one "ingenious" creation! 😴⏰ Maybe they just kept hitting snooze on their next big ideas! 💡😜
3 months ago
Share →: Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Commentary:
Well, maybe it's because Pete Davidson's humor is scripted for the big screen, while your whining is more of a live, uncut performance… But hey, who knows, maybe a little less whine and a little more comedy could be the winning ticket to your own Hollywood romance!
3 months ago
Share →: Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Commentary:
"Ah, the power of curly hair! It's like having a built-in persuasion tool. Just nod and smile, because let's face it – resistance is futile when faced with those charming curls."
3 months ago
Share →: I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'casual on the outside, circus on the inside.' Just imagine all the clowns, acrobats, and wild animals running amok in there. Sounds like quite the show!"
3 months ago
Share →: “Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old wisdom of hardware store gurus, capable of fixing anything from leaky faucets to outdated misconceptions! 🛠️👴🤔 #AutismAwareness #LearningFromTheBest
4 months ago
Share →: Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Commentary:
🤔😂 "Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting? Maybe he's just a really artsy therapist trying to amp up his inkblot game. Or perhaps he's a time-traveling psychologist who figured out the best way to mess with you is by showing you some next-level family drama! 🌀🎨 #InkblotPlotTwist"
4 months ago
Share →: Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Commentary:
"Me trying to motivate myself like the Peloton guy – 'two more Cheetos, one more Cheeto!' 🚴‍♂️🧀 #FitnessGoals #SnackAttacks"
5 months ago
Share →: I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Commentary:
"Who knew being the little spoon could turn into a literal back-packing experience? 🎒😂 Maybe next time go for a medium-sized utensil and avoid feeling like a walking hiking trail in bed! 😜"
5 months ago
Share →: A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Commentary:
"Who needs a DeLorean when you can just quantum leap into a new body, right? 🚗🕰️ Tripping over your own feet: the ultimate transportation method! 😂 #QuantumLeapGoals"