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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

8 minutes ago

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Spotted on Pinterest:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Making waves on Reddit:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Seen just now on Discord:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Home » Funny Keep Quotes

104 Funny keep quotes

Funny keep quotes 🤣—because who doesn’t need a little humor to keep going? Whether you’re trying to stave off the Monday blues or just need a chuckle to brighten your day, these quotes are here to remind you that laughter is indeed the best medicine 😄. Dive into a world where wisdom and wit collide, and keep those spirits high with a smile on your face! 🌟

New funny keep quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Commentary:
Still "selfie-cute," just keeping it under wraps for suspense! 😎📷✨
5 days ago
Share →: There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Commentary:
Just when I thought I captured my good side, my camera said, "Plot twist!" 📸🤪
6 days ago
Share →: If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to hide my happiness behind my resting grump face then! 😄🙃
1 week ago
Share →: I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Commentary:
Sounds like the writers are on their third cup of coffee and a brainstorming spree! ☕️🎬🤪
1 week ago
Share →: I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Commentary:
When your face leaks spoilers even before your brain hits pause 😅🤐📺
1 week ago
Share →: So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Commentary:
"Who knew adulting was the ultimate pyramid scheme? 😂🕵️‍♂️ #ScammedByLife"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Commentary:
"When my mouth gets a mind of its own, the struggle is real! 😂🤐🗣️"
2 weeks ago
Share →: We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, my kitchen's very own escape room challenge! 🥔🔐😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Commentary:
"🔥 Sleep tight in your toasty bridge bonfire! 😴🚧🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Commentary:
"Typos are the spice of life! 🎲📧 Who knew autocorrect was a prankster in disguise? 😅🖋️"

For even more funny keep quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny keep quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

8 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Shared recently on Threads:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Broadcasted on X:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Reported on Instagram:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Seen just now on X:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Just landed via Twitch:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Shared recently on Discord:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

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