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90 Funny keep quotes

Trending Funny Keep Quotes 🔥

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.
If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.
In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.
Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?
Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

New funny keep quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Commentary:
"Props to all the laundry basket and dish warriors who thought, 'Why not add dirt and plants to the mix?' 🌿🧺🍽️😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Commentary:
"When they see me, I want them to wobble like a Jenga tower 😂🧡 #KneesPlease"
1 month ago
Share →: Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Commentary:
"Keeping it 'smooth criminal' on the outside, but on the inside, it's a full drama episode. 🎭😎💔"
1 month ago
Share →: I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Commentary:
🌊😆 "Jetskis: The ultimate ride-or-die! Either way, you'll have a splash!" 🚤💦
1 month ago
Share →: The lion can’t keep living like this.

Commentary:
"When the king of the jungle decides it's time for a career change. 🦁👔 #LionLifeCrisis"
1 month ago
Share →: I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Commentary:
"Just trying to see if I'm a VIP or just a very confused 🧐📱😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Commentary:
"Looks like my camera's doing a better job at witness protection than the FBI! 📷🤦‍♂️😂"
1 month ago
Share →: I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Commentary:
"Someone's ready to launch their 'Trinket Holding Co.' 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Commentary:
"I don't always say something stupid. But when I do, I make sure it's a masterpiece of epic proportions like a modern day Shakespearean tragedy… in 280 characters or less. 🤦‍♂️🤪 #WordsmithWoes"
2 months ago
Share →: I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Commentary:
"Who knew that being a walking disaster could be the ultimate secret to staying humble? 😉🤷‍♂️ Stay grounded, folks – literally! 😂 #HumbleBragFail"