Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Commentary:
"Looks like this fitness trainer didn't appreciate a compliment on her perfect inhaling and exhaling technique! Maybe she was expecting applause instead of flattery on her breath hygiene? 🏋️‍♂️💨😄"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Commentary:
"Oh, don't worry if you don't like me, sweetie. Not everyone can handle this fabulousness 💁‍♀️👑 #sorrynotsorry"
6 months ago
Share →: The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Commentary:
Looks like someone is on an impromptu journey to the land of flying monkeys and emerald cities! 🌪️✈️ Better stay out of their way or you might end up with a house on your head! 🏠😂 #WindyDayAntics
6 months ago
Share →: My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Commentary:
"Parenting level: Bathroom Sentinel 🚽👀 Avoiding potential chaos by sacrificing personal space 😂 #MomLife #DadLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Commentary:
"Oh, the lost souls who sought my guidance… are they still journeying through life in circles? 🤔🚶‍♂️ May they have found their way by now, or are they still in the eternal maze of confusion? 😄🗺️ Remember: when in doubt, just follow the nearest confused person – they might just lead you to your destination! 🤪🧭"
6 months ago
Share →: Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Commentary:
Oh, looks like that person couldn't handle your snack-tastic personality! 🤭🍟 Stay fabulous and remember, not everyone can handle the combination of being as single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito! 😂 #TooCoolToHandle
6 months ago
Share →: Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Commentary:
"Sorry, folks, if you're sliding into my DMs to snag a date, you might be aiming a bit too high! 🎯 Who am I to deprive you of lower standards? 🙈😂 #DeserveLessDesireBest"
6 months ago
Share →: You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet embrace of sleep – it's like a warm hug from your comfy bed telling you, 'Don't go, stay a little longer.' 💤 Who needs mornings when you can have more dreams, am I right? 😜 #TeamSleep"
6 months ago
Share →: “Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question: 'Are you busy tomorrow?' 🤔 Well, my availability hinges on the nature of your request. Will it be tackling Mount Laundry, defeating the dishes, or embarking on a noble quest to find the remote control? 🧹🍽️🗡️ Let me know, and I'll consider rearranging my hectic schedule of Netflix marathons and cat naps accordingly! 😄"
$Funny me quotes - Math is like Chinese to me.$

6 months ago
Share →: Math is like Chinese to me.

Commentary:
"Ah, math can indeed feel like deciphering ancient Chinese scrolls at times! 🧮🈶 Don't worry, with a little practice and perseverance, you'll be speaking the language of numbers fluently in no time! 🤓📚 #MathIsMandarin"