62 Funny response quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

  Commentary:
  🚓 Police officer: please step out of your vehicle.
  🤣 Me: after this song, hold on.
  🎶 *Busts out dance moves inside the car* 😄🚗

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the art of pretending gone wrong! 🙈 Texting back can be such a perilous endeavor, with great power comes great forgetfulness! 💬🚫 #SorryNotSorry"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

  Commentary:
  Them: Good morning! ☀️
  Me: Where? 🤔 Probably still lost in yesterday's dreams! 😴

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs quick replies when you can perfect the art of procrastination and self-inflicted stress? 💌⏰😅 #ProcrastinationGameStrong"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

  Commentary:
  "When they ask 'how was your weekend?' just reply 'better than yours' with a wink 😉 and hold that eye contact like a boss! 😎 Who needs modesty when you've got sass, right? 🤷‍♂️"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

  Commentary:
  "Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

  Commentary:
  Job interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" 🤔
  Me: "I would say my biggest weakness is listening." 😂👂 Sounds like I have plenty of room for personal growth!

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

  Commentary:
  "Mastering the art of passive-aggressiveness with just two words: 'wow ok' 💁‍♂️📧 #EmailEtiquette"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

  Commentary:
  "Them: 'Ugh, could you be more annoying?' Me: 'Oh God, yes!' 🙄😝 Who knew annoying could be so achievable, right?"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Commentary:
  "Let's start a movement to make confusion the new trend in professional communication 👩‍💼📧 Embrace the chaos and let your colleagues know you're just as lost as they are! 🤪💻 #EmailEtiquette"

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