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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

40 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Broadcasted on X:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Reported on Facebook:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Trending via Twitch:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Just shared via Threads:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Making waves on Threads:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Home » Funny Wrong Quotes

88 Funny wrong quotes

Funny wrong quotes 😂🤔 are the delightful slip-ups of wisdom we never knew we needed! They’re like fortune cookies written by a stand-up comedian on a caffeine high, mixing up common sayings with hilarious twists. Perfect for sharing a chuckle with friends or lightening up your day, these quirky misquotes are a reminder that sometimes being a little off-target can land right on the funny bone!

New funny wrong quotes 👇

10 hours ago
Share →: Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Commentary:
When she's sure she knows your feelings better than you do, it's like she's got a PhD in Mind Reading-ology 😂🧠📚
1 day ago
Share →: I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Commentary:
Spreading joy like it's confetti and the world is on a BBQ 🍿🔥😄
5 days ago
Share →: It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Commentary:
Eating dirt: the original "organic" diet. 🌿🤔💁‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Commentary:
"When I bark at a dog, all I can think is: 'Did I just ask him to do my taxes?' 🐶🗂️❓"
1 week ago
Share →: “Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Commentary:
"Forget romance – I'm just inhaling my daily dose of microplastics! 😅💨 #TrueLove"
1 week ago
Share →: If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Commentary:
"When the printer jams again: 🤫🔮 'The prophecy has been fulfilled,' and exit stage left! 👋😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Commentary:
"Well, at least we're headed somewhere… even if it's just the scenic route to confusion! 🧭😂🔄"
1 month ago
Share →: Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Commentary:
"Maybe they're just 'resting their eyes' until the next nap adventure! 😴😂 #SleepDenial"
1 month ago
Share →: Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Commentary:
"Exactly! Sugar's the real MVP when your 'lettuce' down! 🧁🥳😂"
1 month ago
Share →: If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Commentary:
"When I say I'm on a seafood diet, I mean I see food, and I eat it. 🥴🍕 Let's keep it that way!"

For even more funny wrong quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wrong quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

40 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Trending via Telegram:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Making waves on Messenger:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Spotted on Messenger:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Spotted on Instagram:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Just shared via TikTok:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Going viral on WeChat:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

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