Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Just landed via Discord:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Going viral on Slack:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Breaking via Threads:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Spotted on Threads:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Just shared via Twitch:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

26 Funny amount quotes

More funny amount quotes 👇

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

4 weeks ago

amount, before, breakup, dating, evil, evil ex, ex, experience, humor, love, meet, need, normal, normal ex, offer, relationship, right, serious, situationship, spouse, three, truly
The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

4 weeks ago

amount, concern, concerning, humor, i, inappropriate, inappropriate thoughts, little, mental, mental state, self-awareness, state, thoughts
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

4 weeks ago

amount, boss, day, five, give, high, high five, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, job, joke, motivation, motivational, motivational prank, office, office humor, prank, workplace, workplace joke
Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

4 weeks ago

amount, around, clown, entertaining, entertainment, here, humor, satire, think
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

4 weeks ago

amount, attitude, cash, confidence, dollar, gas, gas station, here, humor, humor quote, imagine, just, me, money, over, sarcasm, station, witty
I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

4 weeks ago

amount, comedy, divine, divine test, faith, financial, financial success, gods, handle, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, me, money, next, religion, ridiculous, sarcasm, should, success, test, think, wealth
I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

4 weeks ago

amount, cooking, ever, food, humor, i, kitchen, mistakes, pasta, right, think
Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

4 weeks ago

amount, body, bueno, chocolate, cravings, humor, humor quote, indulgence, kinder, Kinder Bueno, listen, snack, temptation
For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

4 weeks ago

alone, amount, clam, feel, food, food humor, funny observation, humor, i, just, leave, leave alone, meat, observation, seafood
No amount of daylight can save us.

4 weeks ago

amount, daylight, existential, humor, irony, save, us

For even more funny amount quotes, hit next 👇

All funny amount quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

17 shares on X this month:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

93 shares on X this month:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

19 shares on Telegram this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Making waves on Twitch:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Spotted on Slack:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Shared recently on Threads:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Going viral on Discord:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Activity Log ✨

26 Funny amount quotes

More funny amount quotes 👇

All funny amount quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨