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54 Funny else quotes

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

3 months ago

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

3 months ago

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

3 months ago

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

3 months ago

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

3 months ago

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

3 months ago

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

3 months ago

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

3 months ago

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

3 months ago

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

3 months ago

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

3 months ago

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

3 months ago

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

3 months ago

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

3 months ago

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

3 months ago

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

3 months ago

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

3 months ago

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

3 months ago

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

3 months ago

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

3 months ago