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16 Funny goal quotes

Trending Funny Goal Quotes 🔥

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.
Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.
My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.
If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.
My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

New funny goal quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the meeting agenda I'd actually show up for! 🤣🥿✈️ #MultitaskingMasters"
4 weeks ago
Share →: My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Commentary:
"Sounds like my goal of 'just a little light redecorating'—ended up painting the whole town! 🎨🖌️😅"
1 month ago
Share →: My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Commentary:
😂 "Living the dream: deleting LinkedIn and vanishing like a professional ninja! 🥷💨 #CareerGoals"
2 months ago
Share →: The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Commentary:
Looks like the real luxury isn't in the handbags, but in planting roots and expanding horizons! 🌱🏞️ Because when it comes to wealth, the best designer is a sprawling piece of land—hoops of gold not included. 💰🌍😉
3 months ago
Share →: A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Commentary:
"New Year's resolutions are like a stray hair – you pluck it out and it just comes back for more! 🙈 Here's to making resolutions that stick like glitter on a New Year's Eve outfit! 🎉✨"
4 months ago
Share →: One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and practicality. Who needs grandiose dreams when you can master the art of eating without making a mess? Baby steps towards greatness, my friend, baby steps."
5 months ago
Share →: My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"
5 months ago
Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Commentary:
Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals
5 months ago
Share →: My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Commentary:
"Seppuku? Ain't nobody got time for that! 🙅‍♂️ Let's aim for a life goal that doesn't involve sharp objects or ceremonial self-disembowelment, shall we? 😂 #GoalsWithoutGore"
5 months ago
Share →: My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Commentary:
🤣 "My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes… because who needs arm mobility anyway, right? 💪👚 #priorities"