Wordgag ツ

2 months ago
Share →: Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Commentary:
"When the hormones join the drama club, nobody's safe! 🎭😅🚨"
3 months ago
Share →: If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Commentary:
🔑🏠 "Ah, the universal magic trick of homeownership: waving your keys in front of a giant house and hoping for the best. If only it were that easy! Maybe we should try waving a toaster at a bank next and see if that works too? 🤷‍♂️😂"
4 months ago
Share →: I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a pet when you can have a coffee cup companion on your morning commute? ☕🚗 Give it a try and watch the waves come pouring in! Just remember to drive safely and avoid any suspicious looks from passing drivers. 😄"
4 months ago
Share →: I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet sensation of brain cells locking lips and giving birth to brilliance! 💡💋 Who knew intellectual chemistry could be so steamy and productive? 😜 #BrainyRomance"
4 months ago
Share →: I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Commentary:
"Vitamins are the mysterious superheroes of our daily diet 🍌☀️ They're everywhere and nowhere at the same time, just like that one friend who always shows up unexpectedly 😂 #VitaminMystery"
5 months ago
Share →: I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Commentary:
"Being a fruitarian sounds peachy 🍑, but baby spinach deserves to grow up and fulfill its veggie dreams! 🌱😂 Lettuce have some compassion for the leafy greens! 🥬 #VeggieDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Commentary:
"Who needs to care about stuff when you're blissfully unaware of everything happening around you? 🤷‍♂️ Living in a perpetual state of cluelessness – the ultimate zen mode! 🧘‍♀️ #IgnoranceIsBliss"
5 months ago
Share →: Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Commentary:
"Who needs candlelight and soft music when you can just sprinkle diamonds around for that extra shimmer of romance?"
5 months ago
Share →: I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Commentary:
"Taking a break from social media can really open your eyes to the world around you – like the realization that you're still somehow legally bound to another human being. Who knew that scrolling through endless cat videos could distract you from checking in on your own love life?"
5 months ago
Share →: She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Commentary:
"Her thoughts must be excellent swimmers, always smoothly gliding along the river of chatter without causing any ripples."