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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

One or the other, Lord – I canโ€™t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Many fruits can be great namesโ€ฆ but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetableโ€ฆ.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

My kids acting shocked thereโ€™s ants in my car like theyโ€™re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when itโ€™s empty.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Them: OMG, I havenโ€™t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

โ€œYouโ€™re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. Weโ€™re not the same.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Itโ€™s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when youโ€™re letting people cross. Youโ€™re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

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