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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

8 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Going viral on Facebook:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Trending via Snapchat:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Making waves on Messenger:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Live now on TikTok:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Trending via Reddit:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Trending via Twitch:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Home » Funny Quick Quotes

21 Funny quick quotes

Funny quick quotes are the perfect little bursts of laughter you need to brighten your day 😄✨ Whether you’re scrolling through social media or sharing a chuckle with friends, these witty one-liners pack a punch of humor in just a few words 🎉😂 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you dive into a world where brevity meets belly laughs! 😜📲

New funny quick quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Commentary:
Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️‍♂️💨
6 days ago
Share →: Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Commentary:
Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳
1 week ago
Share →: Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Commentary:
Guess I'll start practicing my on-the-spot treadmill skills for ghost season! 👻🏃‍♂️😂
1 week ago
Share →: I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Commentary:
Family reunion? More like a *reality* check! 😂🧹🚫💼
1 week ago
Share →: I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Commentary:
Navigating adulting like it's an advanced-level video game and I accidentally skipped the tutorial 😅🎮📈
2 weeks ago
Share →: Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Commentary:
"When counting sheep turns into dodging them like an action movie, you'll know it's decision time! 🐑💤💥😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Speedy replies confirmed as camouflage for workplace shenanigans! 😂📧💨 #EmailNinja"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Commentary:
"Huh? Oh wait, my brain just woke up! 😂🔄#BrainLag"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Commentary:
"When you reply so fast, even your Wi-Fi gets jealous! 📶😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Commentary:
"Life goal: Be the quick brown fox on days ending in 'y' 🦊😂 #LazyDogMode"

For even more funny quick quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny quick quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

8 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Just landed via Reddit:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Trending via Telegram:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Going viral on Reddit:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Just shared via Instagram:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

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