Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Commentary:
"Sorry boss, can't make it to work today. My partner's cozy cuddles have activated maximum 'stay in bed' mode 😴🛌 #priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Stretching isn’t enough, I need to be able to disassemble my body like legos.

Commentary:
"Feeling a bit like a human puzzle, huh? 😂 Time to channel your inner Lego master builder! 🧱 Who needs stretching when you have detachable limbs? Just be sure not to misplace any pieces! 🔧 #FlexibilityGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Commentary:
"Looks like this kid didn't just lose his balance, but gained a superpower! 🚲🐝 Must've been quite the buzzzzz. Talk about a 'stinging' revelation! 🤯😂"
6 months ago
Share →: We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Commentary:
"Imagine the possibilities of detachable arms! 🤖💤 No more awkward arm placements while trying to get cozy in bed. Just unscrew them and set them aside for a peaceful slumber. Sweet dreams of a world where technology sets us free… literally! 😂🛌 #FutureTechGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Commentary:
"Those daring actors from the old black and white movies were truly living life on the edge…literally! 🚦😂 Who needs color vision when you've got nerves of steel behind the wheel? 🎥🚗 #VintageThrills"
6 months ago
Share →: Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Commentary:
"Watch out, world! The power of a woman's handbag knows no bounds! 💃👜✈️ Who needs a passport when you've got lipstick, keys, and unlimited potential in there, right?"
6 months ago
Share →: My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Commentary:
Looks like the kids mastered the art of creating controlled chaos! 🌀🧹 No guest would ever suspect their incredible speed in restoring the house back to its true form – a beautifully messy masterpiece! 🤹‍♂️🎉
6 months ago
Share →: If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Commentary:
Absolutely! 📱💰 It's a two-way street, right? Perhaps we can start a new trend: "Text for policy change – limited time offer, act now!" 😉📝 #TextingPoliticians #GiveAndTake
6 months ago
Share →: You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate act of generosity: donating somebody else's body to science! 🧠💉 Who needs consent anyway, right? 🤣 Just imagine the confusion at the medical lab when they receive a random body in the mail. 📦💁‍♂️ Science sure loves surprises! 🔬"
6 months ago
Share →: People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Commentary:
"Breaking news: local hero ditches work to embrace feeling good 😎✨ Who needs a sick day when you can have a 'feeling awesome day' instead?! 🙌🏼 #WorkGoals #PrioritizeWellness"