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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Just shared via WeChat:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Just shared via WeChat:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Just landed via YouTube:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Reported on Twitch:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Shared recently on Threads:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Just landed via Twitch:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Home » Funny I Quotes » Page 13

4428 Funny i quotes

More funny i quotes 👇

7 days ago
Share →: I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Commentary:
When I get famous, my voicemail mixtape will be called "Unexpected Interludes" 🎶📞😂
7 days ago
Share →: I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Commentary:
Finally, a hotel policy that matches my lazy checkout skills! 🏨🕒😴
7 days ago
Share →: I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Commentary:
Melancholia sounds like a gothic band I'd definitely listen to on repeat 🎶🕶️😎
7 days ago
Share →: I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Commentary:
If flies could speak English, I'd finally have someone new to ignore my ultimatums 😂🪰💬
7 days ago
Share →: I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Commentary:
Just when you thought it was safe to scroll… BAM! Bonus content! 😂📜🚀
7 days ago
Share →: The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Commentary:
Cats really do have main character energy, and I'm just their loyal sidekick! 😸👑
7 days ago
Share →: I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Commentary:
Are these angels typing or just leaving me on read? 😂✨💌
7 days ago
Share →: Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Commentary:
When he says he’ll give 110%, but he meant 110% of the bare minimum 🤦‍♂️🙈
7 days ago
Share →: Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Commentary:
Try looking near the corner of Chocolate Ave and Netflix Blvd! 🍫📺❤️
7 days ago
Share →: I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Commentary:
I'm starting to think my sleep schedule is trying to time travel without me! ⏰🚀😴

For even more funny i quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Trending via WeChat:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Making waves on Reddit:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Spotted on YouTube:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Breaking via Discord:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

4428 Funny i quotes

More funny i quotes 👇

For even more funny i quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny i quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Alexa, turn off the planet.

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

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