17 Funny seconds quotes

• Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

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  19 hours ago

  due, eat, eating, floor, food, humor, inflation, joke, seconds, time

• I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

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  3 weeks ago

  bet, couple, feels, humor, i, incredible, irony, medieval, pain, rack, relief, seconds, sensation, stretcher, torture, where

• I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

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  2 months ago

  25, 30, basketball, commercial, commercials, delay, excitement, exciting, foul, game, humor, last, minutes, ready, seconds, sports, stretch, time-out

• I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

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  2 months ago

  always, always available, am, available, communication, digital, digital presence, hello, here, humor, i, instant, instant response, love, media, online, online communication, people, presence, quick, quick reply, reply, replying, response, seconds, social, social media, texting

• You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

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  2 months ago

  5, digital, digital etiquette, etiquette, home, humor, meeting, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, mouse, moving, never, office, online, online meeting, productivity, remote, remote work, say, screen, screen time, seconds, stop, Teams, time, virtual, virtual office, work, work from home, work humor

• Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

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  2 months ago

  basket, best, chores, empty, having, humor, laundry, life, moment, satisfaction, seconds

• My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

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  2 months ago

  2, after, awkwardness, forgetting, interaction, me, memory, move, name, seconds, signature, signature move, social, social interaction, tell

• Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

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  2 months ago

  asleep, bathroom, fall, fall asleep, hate, having, humor, i, jealousy, me, night, rest, seconds, sleep

• I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

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  2 months ago

  30, advertising, being, commercial, commercials, creativity, humor, i, insane, insanity, just, mind, perception, perfume, respect, seconds, show, smell

• My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

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  2 months ago

  90s, box, car, favorite, glove, glove box, hiding, nostalgia, seconds, skill, speed, stereo, under, uninstall

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