43 Funny spend quotes

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

  Commentary:
  🐶 "Our dogs see us as dedicated full-time playmates, always ready for a game of fetch or a belly rub. Meanwhile, our cats just assume we're part of the 'sleeping 18 hours a day' club. Hey, at least we're keeping them entertained with our unemployment shenanigans!" 😺 #FurBabyPerspectives

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

  Commentary:
  "Dear thoughts, if you're going to crash at my mental place, could you at least do the dishes and take out the trash? 🗑️🧹 #MindfulLiving"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a retirement fund when you can invest in carbs? 🍝💸 #PastaOverPockets #CarbConnoisseur"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the introvert's grand escape plan: post-holiday hibernation mode ON! 🎄👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💤 Who needs the hustle and bustle when you can have a week of peace, quiet, and Netflix marathons instead? 😂 #IntrovertLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

  Commentary:
  "Move over Spotify Wrapped 🎵, the real challenge is tracking the minutes spent listening to your girlfriend this year! ⏰😂 Who needs music when you've got relationship tuning in? 🎧💕 #GirlfriendGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic 'waiting for life-changing epiphanies in the comfort of my room' strategy 🤔🪞 Just your friendly reminder that life-changing moments don't always come knocking on your door… sometimes you gotta go out there and seize the day! 🌟💃 #VentureOut"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, weekends – the ultimate con job! One day you're exhausted from the week's hustle, and the next you're anxiously dreading Monday's return 🤯 It's like being stuck in a time loop of tiredness and dread, with a sprinkle of 'What in the world just happened?' confusion thrown in for good measure! 😂 #WeekendScamAlert"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

  Commentary:
  "Well, that's one way to fast-track a relationship to 'exit' mode! 🏃‍♂️💨 Who needs a crystal ball when you've already got a clear vision of your future without them? 😂 Better luck next time in the roommate lottery! 🤷‍♀️🔮"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

  Commentary:
  "Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

  Commentary:
  Oh, a classic case of arachnid anxiety – poor spider must be having an existential crisis now! 🕷️🏃‍♀️ Hope you left him a tiny note saying "You're not safe yet, little buddy!" 😉 #Spidernapped

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