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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Going viral on Reddit:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Live now on X:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Trending via Telegram:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Making waves on X:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

62 Funny spend quotes

More funny spend quotes 👇

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

1 week ago

commentary, digital, digital life, helping, humor, i, internet, irony, life, online, seems, should, social, social commentary, society, spend, technology, think, time, try
If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

1 week ago

anxiety, distraction, feeling, geopolitics, global, humor, information, internet, little, media, much, phone, relief, remember, scroll, scrolling, smartphone, spend, state, stress, stress relief, time
Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

1 week ago

cat, cats, entertainment, humor, making, media, pet, sleep, sleeping, social, social media, spend, third, video, videos, viral, viral video
I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

1 week ago

activity, day, eat, Facebook, humor, i, internet, internet activity, life, mark, Mark Zuckerberg, media, online, online life, social, social media, spend, tech, tech humor, zuckerberg
Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

1 week ago

comfort, expense, fortune, heating, humor, indoor, inside, irony, just, know, outdoor, outdoor heating, people, practicality, spend, temperature
Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

1 week ago

activity, animal, animal behavior, behavior, cats, following, funny activity, give, humor, humorous, humorous quote, kitchen, me, meowing, pet, pet humor, spend, today, treats
Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

1 week ago

account, actually, bank, bank account, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, money, okay, rude, sarcasm, spend, spending
Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

1 week ago

comedy, every, expenses, feel, finance, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, me, money, needs, own, reimbursement, somebody, spend, time, wallet
Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

1 week ago

anxiety, anxious, day, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, irony, leisure, relaxation, scam, spend, stress, weekend
Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

1 week ago

activity, back, childhood, distraction, entertainment, fun, fun activity, hobby, i, leisure, less, phone, screen, screen time, something, spend, time, trying, TV, watching

For even more funny spend quotes, hit next 👇

All funny spend quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

49 shares on X this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

96 shares on Discord this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Shared recently on YouTube:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Just landed via Reddit:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Trending via Slack:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Going bananas on Threads:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Just landed via Instagram:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Just landed via X:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Activity Log ✨

62 Funny spend quotes

More funny spend quotes 👇

All funny spend quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨