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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,042

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Just shared via Messenger:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Trending via TikTok:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Shared recently on X:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Just landed via Slack:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Spotted on Twitch:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

109 Funny us quotes

More funny us quotes 👇

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

0

2 months ago

connor, culture, disappointed, disappointment, grok, humor, letting, pop, pop culture, sarah, Sarah Connor, us
All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

0

2 months ago

delay, electrician, expectation, humor, porn, saying, service, service delay, shows, time, unrealistic, us, waiting, waiting time
I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

0

2 months ago

believe, communication, digital, digital life, email, emails, humor, i, life, message, something, technology, tell, trying, us
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, anything, delivery, driver, humor, knock, misunderstanding, morning, ok, order, sure, us, wife, yesterday
Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

0

2 months ago

affection, both, feeling, humor, i, irony, love, mutual, mutual feeling, relationship, unfortunately, us
Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

0

2 months ago

AI, AI writing, dash, em, em dash, grammar, humor, incoherence, incoherent, mean, please, punctuation, stop, too, us, work, writing
I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

0

2 months ago

accounting, complaint, diss, diss track, got, humor, i, invoicing, issue, issues, job, jobs, let, music, poorly, rhyme, sick, solve, track, us, wish, workplace
So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

0

2 months ago

actual, call, channel, checker, create, fact, fact checker, facts, give, humor, information, just, know, media, news, sarcasm, truth, TV, TV channel, us, where, why
I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, apocalypse, bet, destroy, ever, extraterrestrial, gathering, humor, i, information, information gathering, just, self-destruction, speculation, think, us, waiting, well
There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

0

2 months ago

discord, Discord Nitro, gaming, humor, living, nitro, online, online service, pay, paying, people, real, service, subscription, us

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New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Slack this month:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

58 shares on WeChat this month:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Trending via Instagram:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Making waves on Reddit:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Activity Log ✨

109 Funny us quotes

More funny us quotes 👇

All funny us quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨