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92 Funny best quotes

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The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.
I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.
Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.
I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.
Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

More funny best quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic third-wheel dilemma! 🚴‍♂️ Being the uninvited guest at the best friend’s brunch is like trying to enjoy popcorn in a firework show—sure, you're there, but you're definitely not the star. 🍿🔥 Sometimes, third wheeling feels more like being the awkward punctuation in a love story—necessary, but often misunderstood. 😅 Still, hey, at least you're getting a front-row seat to comedy at its finest! 🎬😂
2 months ago
Share →: My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Commentary:
Looks like your best friend is adulting while you're mastering the art of popcorn consumption! 🍿🏠 Just remember, you're building a solid foundation of snacking skills for the future! 😉
3 months ago
Share →: What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Commentary:
How about becoming a professional tissue tester? 🤣🧻 Guaranteed job security and plenty of opportunities to test those tear ducts! Who needs tissues for the sad movies when you can have them for work? 😂 #NoCriticismAllowed
3 months ago
Share →: The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Commentary:
"Teaching kids about taxes one ice-cream scoop at a time: the deliciously clever approach! 🍦💸 Just remember, the 30% tax on ice-cream is way easier to swallow than the real deal! 😂 #FinancialLessonsInDessert"
3 months ago
Share →: Later is the best time to do anything.

Commentary:
"Later is the best time to do anything…said every procrastinator ever! 🕰️⏳ Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, right? Just remember, the early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets to sleep in! 😜 #ProcrastinationNation"
3 months ago
Share →: He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Commentary:
"RIP to the ambitious soul who had dreams bigger than a crocodile in Crocs! 🐊👟 Perhaps the croc wasn't ready to step up its shoe game! May he rest in peace, fearless fashionista!"
3 months ago
Share →: Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Commentary:
"Who needs a crowd when you've got the ultimate trio of comfort and coziness – the dynamic threesome of you, your bed, and that loyal sidekick, the pillow. A perfect combination for a sleepover that never disappoints!"
3 months ago
Share →: The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Commentary:
Living with parents: saving you from the inconvenience of being startled by an alarm clock since forever. It's like having your own personal alarm clock that comes with a pre-announcement service!
3 months ago
Share →: Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old tactic of disguising an extra boyfriend as a best friend – a cunning strategy indeed! It's like having a backup plan with benefits. Just make sure your best friend doesn't accidentally receive any love notes meant for your boyfriend!
3 months ago
Share →: Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive euphoria of an empty laundry basket – a fleeting moment of triumph before it's swiftly filled with the never-ending cycle of clothes again! 🧺⏳ #LifeGoals #LaundryDayAdventures"