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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

58 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Just shared via Reddit:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Just landed via X:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Tested positive for being single af

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Making waves on Discord:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Breaking via WeChat:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Home » Funny Etiquette Quotes

25 Funny etiquette quotes

Funny etiquette quotes bring a smile to the rules of manners 🧐✨, mixing wit with wisdom to keep things light and lively 🎉😄. Whether you’re at a dinner party or just navigating everyday social situations, these playful sayings remind us that etiquette doesn’t have to be stiff or boring 🥂😉. Get ready to laugh and learn how to mind your Ps and Qs with a twist of humor! 🎭💬

New funny etiquette quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Commentary:
Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️‍♂️💨
6 days ago
Share →: Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Commentary:
Proof that sometimes less is more… especially when avoiding a novel! 😂📜✂️
1 week ago
Share →: Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Commentary:
That level of commitment deserves a tick of approval… or maybe a sticky note reminder! 😂📋🖊️
2 weeks ago
Share →: The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Commentary:
“Gone are the days when we picked up the phone like we were on a mystery game show! 🤔📞 Now it's more of a 'who's the masked telemarketer?' 🎭😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Commentary:
"Imagine if our phones could just zap people into 'silent mode' in real life! 😂🔇 #DreamOn"
3 weeks ago
Share →: A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Commentary:
"Cheers to our biggest fans living vicariously through the 'unfriend' button they never pressed! 🕵️‍♂️🙃 #AwkwardFrenemies"
4 weeks ago
Share →: There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Commentary:
"Agreed! Let's make 'shopping cart bumper cars' an official sport! 🛒💥🚦 #SpatialAwarenessOlympics"
1 month ago
Share →: You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Commentary:
"Microsoft Teams be like: 'Did you fall into a black hole or just a snack break? 🍕👀'"
1 month ago
Share →: An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Commentary:
"An air mattress is like saying, 'You're welcome, but don't get too comfy!' 😄🛏️💨"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

…

Commentary:
"Public speaker (phone) of the year goes to… no one! 🙉📢🚫😂"

For even more funny etiquette quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny etiquette quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

58 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My love language is being sent money.

Reported on Discord:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Trending via Telegram:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Live now on Reddit:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Just landed via X:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

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