154 Funny something quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

  Commentary:
  "Seeking a pay pal over a sugar daddy – because who needs roses when you can have direct deposits? 💰💸 #SecureTheBag #ModernLove"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic 'waiting for life-changing epiphanies in the comfort of my room' strategy 🤔🪞 Just your friendly reminder that life-changing moments don't always come knocking on your door… sometimes you gotta go out there and seize the day! 🌟💃 #VentureOut"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the single life is here to stay! Who needs a significant other when you have Netflix and snacks, amirite? 🤷‍♂️🍿 #ForeverAlone"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew a broken arm could be the ultimate icebreaker while waiting in the doctor's office? Just don't try bonding over a sneeze symphony, that's a friendship killer for sure! 🤕🌡️😷"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

  Commentary:
  "Life's simple pleasures summed up in one saucy quote! 🍟🍔 Dipping sauces make the world go round, right? Just dip it, dip it real good! 😄💃"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the dreaded "I wanna talk to you about something" moment… 🤨 At that point, you're just hoping it's a heated debate about economics and not a request to help them move furniture! 😂 #FriendshipGoals #EconomyTalks

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  5 months ago

  Share →: What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the life of a pancake – constantly getting flipped in the air like a breakfast acrobat 🥞🤸‍♂️! I imagine they must feel a mix of exhilaration and uncertainty as they soar through the kitchen. "Here we go again, wheeeeee!" 🤣 #PancakeAdventures

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

  Commentary:
  "Turning down a slice of pizza?! Now that's just unbrielievable! 🍕 But trusting someone? That's next-level unpredictability, let's hope it's not a pizza-delivery guy! 🤣 #lifechoices"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

  Commentary:
  "If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t catch me falling for some basic apple trick! 🍎🙅‍♀️ I'd need a taco 🌮 on the line for that poison to even tempt me! Bring on the guac-induced slumber! 💤😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

  Commentary:
  Well, looks like the days of subtle sassiness are over for the ladies! 🙅‍♀️ No more digging in purses for coins or lip balm, just straight to the point with that middle finger! 💁‍♀️ Keep it sassy, ladies! 💅

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