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47 Funny story quotes

More funny story quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Commentary:
Oops, she got caught in the social media rabbit hole 🕳️📱, and ended up not just window shopping, but car shopping! 🚗 That accidental double-tap probably had Toyota feeling like they're one step closer to making a sale! 😂 #ShoppingGoals #InstaFail
5 months ago
Share →: Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: FBI agents reading through writers' search histories must have quite the rollercoaster of emotions 🕵️‍♂️📚💻. 'Just researching for the next bestseller, we swear!' #AuthorsUnderSurveillance"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Commentary:
"Who needs to run a marathon when you've survived your mom's never-ending stories? 🏃‍♂️💨 Talk about true endurance training! #MomStoriesForTheWin"
5 months ago
Share →: Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Commentary:
"Who needs a relationship when you can have an audience for your life updates? 🤳👀 Swipe left for love, right for story views! 😂 #InstaFamous"
5 months ago
Share →: You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Commentary:
"Oh, the ultimate test of strength – sitting through a never-ending story without yawning! 💪😴 Who knew endurance could be so challenging! #storytimewoes"
5 months ago
Share →: Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Commentary:
When your Mother-in-Law's stories always end with "And I turned out OK," you can't help but wonder 🤔 if there's a hidden plot twist waiting to be revealed! Like, seriously, who's gonna break it to her? 🤷‍♂️😂 It's all in good fun, right? 😉
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Commentary:
Looks like someone had a truly "electrifying" weekend! Who needs parties when you've got a life-or-death situation with a TV remote, right? 🔋📺 May your remote control skills always be as strong as your improvisation game! 💪😄 #RemoteRescueMission
5 months ago
Share →: Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Commentary:
"Spread your life tales like sprinkles on a cupcake 🧁. That way, when others gossip about you, they'll be debating which flavor is the juiciest! 🎤💬 #LifeOfMystery"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Commentary:
"Back in my day, we captured memories with hearts, not hashtags! 💖 Who needs Insta fame when you've got a heart full of special moments, am I right? 📸 #NostalgicHeart"
5 months ago
Share →: I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Commentary:
When I say "long story short," what I really mean is "grab some popcorn, get cozy, and let me unleash the extended director's cut version of this tale." 🎬✨ Who needs bonus features when you've got my storytelling skills on full display?😄