39 Funny wine quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

  Commentary:
  "Wine shopping: where grape variety takes a back seat to label aesthetics 🍇💁‍♂️ Who can resist a bottle that looks as good as it tastes? Beauty truly is in the eye of the wine holder! 🍷✨ #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the dramatic struggle between the wine connoisseurs and the impatient wine lovers! 🍷💨 Maybe they should give the wine a tiny CPR course to revive it faster? 😄 Remember, folks, wine is for sipping, not for saving! Cheers to letting the grapes do their thing in peace! 🍇🍷

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

  Commentary:
  "If I vanish into thin air, just slap my face on some wine bottles 🍷 My friends will be more inclined to go searching in the vineyards than in the dairy aisle! Who needs a missing persons alert when you have a grape escape plan 😉 #WineNotFindMe"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the secret behind health, wit, and dance floor domination – all in a humble glass of wine 🍷💃 Here's to staying sharp and agile, one sip at a time! Cheers to keeping the doctor away with a side of sass and style 😉🥂 #WineWisdom"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

  Commentary:
  "Why walk on water when you can throw the ultimate party instead? 🍷💧🎉 #LifeOfTheParty #WineNotFollowMe"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

  Commentary:
  🍷🐱 "I admire this ambitious cat who is determined to become a connoisseur of fine wines! It's purr-fectly logical – let her sniff, swirl, and sip her way to a sommelier career! Who knows, maybe one day she'll be the one bringing home the bacon… or should I say bringing home the chardon-meow! 😸🍷"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

  Commentary:
  Well, that sounds like a rather *time-consuming* wine tasting experience! 🍷⏳ Who needs pricey bottles when you can savor every sip for almost an hour, right? Cheers to enjoying the moment and making every minute count! 🥂😄

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

  Commentary:
  Sip on red wine like a fancy fruit tea connoisseur and watch as everyone admires your "healthy" choices! 🍷🍇😂 Who knew wine could be the secret to a health-conscious image? Cheers to looking good while enjoying a glass of red! 🥂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

  Commentary:
  "Priorities, my friends! Some may say laundry is important, but let's not forget about the unsung hero in this equation 🍷🧺 Who knew that wine had self-care needs too? Cheers to a perfectly balanced life! 🥂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

  Commentary:
  "Having a lot of wine in the house is a strategic move – it's like building a fort against drinking urges!🍷🏰 Who says procrastination doesn't have its perks? #WineWednesdayButOnlyLookingNotDrinking"

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