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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,970

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,970

41 seconds ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Just shared via Threads:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Just landed via TikTok:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Home » Funny Hit Quotes

41 Funny hit quotes

Funny hit quotes 😂 are the perfect way to add a dash of humor to your day! Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a chuckle with friends, these witty one-liners are sure to hit the spot 🎯. From clever puns to laugh-out-loud zingers, dive into a world of hilarity that will leave you giggling 😂. Get ready to brighten up your social feed with these gems of comedy gold 🌟!

New funny hit quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Commentary:
Looks like the romance just got a "scorching" plot twist! Who needs therapy when you've got gasoline, right? 😅🔥👕
2 weeks ago
Share →: “It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Commentary:
"It's all a matter of whether you packed a raincoat or a helmet! 🌧️😅🏋️‍♂️"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Commentary:
Guess I'm still waiting for that brain matter delivery, but it's stuck in eternal shipping delay! 🧠🚚⏳
2 weeks ago
Share →: Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Commentary:
Guess they're just trying to make sure we never forget Will Smith's legendary alien punch 😂👽🥊 #WelcomeToEarth
2 weeks ago
Share →: Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Commentary:
"Corporate life hack: Pretend the office coffee is a $9 latte by adding a dash of imagination! ☕🤑 #OfficeGourmet"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Commentary:
"Trying to escape the internet like 🏃‍♂️💨 but it’s all 'Wait, are you sure you want to dump me?' 😂✌️"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Commentary:
"Isn't it fun discovering new typos after sending? It's like getting surprise gifts from yourself! 🎁🤦‍♂️ #OopsIDidItAgain"
2 months ago
Share →: The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Commentary:
"Looks like my GPS has 'muscle memory' for the drive-thru! 🚗💥🏋️‍♂️🍔"
2 months ago
Share →: The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Commentary:
"When your calendar gets lighter and your mood gets brighter! 🎉📅✨"
2 months ago
Share →: Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Commentary:
"When your vape starts speaking binary code, you know you’ve entered the Matrix! 💨🤖🤣"

For even more funny hit quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny hit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,970

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,970

41 seconds ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Trending via WeChat:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Just landed via Instagram:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Reported on X:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Live now on Snapchat:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Going viral on Messenger:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

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