55 Funny humorous quotes

• I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

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  2 months ago

  annoyance, annoyed, compatibility, cringe, dating, humor, humorous, i, interest, just, relationship, same, shared, shared interest, someone, things, want

• I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

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  2 months ago

  conflict, favor, humor, humor about conflict, humorous, humorous quote, i, international, international relations, joke, political, political humor, relations, sarcasm, satire, war, war joke

• Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

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  2 months ago

  around, carefree, ease, excuse, humor, humorous, humorous excuse, i, imagination, late, lateness, mind, relaxation, relief, sorry, stress, stress relief, travel, troubled, walk, wandering, world

• The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

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  2 months ago

  animal, animal friend, berry, eating, enchanted, enchanted forest, escape, fantasy, forest, friend, friends, humorous, i, lover, me, nature, nature lover, streets, talking, whimsical, woodland

• Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

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  2 months ago

  bad, bad choice, bad decision, choice, choices, decision, humor, humorous, making, myself, number, pride, proud, record-breaking, sarcastic, self-deprecating, today

• Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

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  2 months ago

  circle, clever, dating, flirting, humor, humorous, humorous remark, i, joke, over, playful, remark, sarcasm, teasing, witty

• Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

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  2 months ago

  career, career joke, comparison, employment, experience, help, humor, humorous, humorous comparison, hut, job, job humor, joke, know, pizza, pizza hut, retail, retail job, sunglass, sunglass hut, think, work, work experience, working, workplace, workplace humor

• In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

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  2 months ago

  advice, cheese, disaster, dog, dogs, emergency, event, food, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous advice, joke, natural, natural disaster, place, pockets, rescue, search, search dog, snacks, survival, tornado, wiener

• You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

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  2 months ago

  costume, day, dress, dress up, helmet, humor, humorous, humorous quote, laundry, laundry day, playful, quirky, tell

• Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

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  2 months ago

  amount, boss, day, five, give, high, high five, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, job, joke, motivation, motivational, motivational prank, office, office humor, prank, workplace, workplace joke

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