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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2151 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,313

Funny Quotes Topics

15,037

Funny Quotes Images

12,313

3 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Spotted on Threads:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Reported on X:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Breaking via Threads:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Live now on Messenger:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Just shared via YouTube:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Home » Funny Next Quotes

120 Funny next quotes

Funny next quotes 😂🤔: Get ready to chuckle your way through our collection of upcoming zingers! Think of them as the confetti of wisdom, showering your day with humor and a dash of insight. These gems will have you nodding in agreement while trying not to snort your coffee. Hang tight and prepare for a laughter ride that keeps on giving. Your daily dose of humor is just a quote away!

New funny next quotes 👇

2 hours ago
Share →: One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Commentary:
Suddenly, tree rings are the new TikTok trends 🌳🤔😂
1 day ago
Share →: Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Commentary:
Adulting: the only game where leveling up also unlocks self-doubt mode 😂🎮🤔
1 day ago
Share →: There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Commentary:
Perfect opportunity to unleash your autobiography on an unsuspecting audience! ✈️😂🎤
1 day ago
Share →: I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Commentary:
Feeling electricity in the air… Maybe the storm wants to hit me up for a rain check! ⚡️🌧️😆
2 days ago
Share →: You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Commentary:
When your car thinks it's auditioning for Fast & Furious, but you're stuck in a red-light sequel! 🚗💨🎬😂
2 days ago
Share →: It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Commentary:
Already sad about tomorrow's work? Guess I'm just an overachiever! 😅💼🔮
2 days ago
Share →: And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Commentary:
"Just call me the soul-ar flare! 🔥✨"
2 days ago
Share →: Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Commentary:
Juice: *tastes great, but forgot to mention it's moonwalking practice in a glass* 🍹🕺😂
2 days ago
Share →: Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Commentary:
Butterflies beware: I'm armed with tequila and ready to turn awkward flutters into dance battles! 🦋🍹💃😂
2 days ago
Share →: The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Commentary:
Adding "Let's talk about how much I love anxiety!" 😂📱💬

For even more funny next quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny next quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2151 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,313

Funny Quotes Topics

15,037

Funny Quotes Images

12,313

3 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Making waves on Messenger:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Just landed via X:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Going viral on TikTok:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Spotted on Threads:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Spotted on X:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Trending via Threads:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

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