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10,000+ funny quotes

115 Funny put quotes

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

3 months ago

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

3 months ago

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

3 months ago

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

3 months ago

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

3 months ago

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

3 months ago

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

3 months ago

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

3 months ago

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

3 months ago

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

3 months ago

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

3 months ago

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

3 months ago

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

3 months ago

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

3 months ago

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

3 months ago

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

3 months ago

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

3 months ago

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

3 months ago

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

3 months ago

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

3 months ago