205 Funny put quotes

• OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

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  1 week ago

  clarity, clear, communication, eyewear, glasses, going, humor, just, ok, put

• My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

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  1 week ago

  anything, asked, humor, i, ketchup, list, making, me, misunderstanding, put, read, reading, shopping, shopping list, wife

• My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

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  1 week ago

  common, common sense, detergent, eat, glue, hair, humor, i, just, label, laundry, laundry detergent, lesson, life, life lesson, me, never, put, read, sense, telling, warning, warning label, whole

• Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

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  1 week ago

  40s, age, assembling, floor, furniture, getting, getting older, humor, life, life stage, old, older, put, sit, sitting, sitting on floor, stage, together, too, welcome

• My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

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  1 week ago

  adult, adult hack, again, away, carefully, favourite, forgetfulness, hack, humor, i, important, important thing, life, life skill, lose, never, organization, put, skill, something, thing

• Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

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  1 week ago

  awkward, awkward situation, bead, bead curtain, broken, broken leg, curtain, getting, horse, humor, leg, me, put, sex, sex shop, shop, situation, tangled

• Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

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  1 week ago

  bag, before, burger, casual, casual joke, fast, fast food, five, Five Guys, food, food service, got, guy, guys, humor, job, joke, just, put, service, workplace

• Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

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  1 week ago

  brag, casual, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, life, put, self-deprecating, sitting, sitting down, socks

• My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

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  1 week ago

  attitude, behavior, blame, cat, coffee, coffee mug, dare, domestic, domestic life, edge, fault, feline, feline attitude, humor, i, just, kitchen, life, me, mischief, mug, over, pet, pet behavior, put, table

• I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

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  1 week ago

  birth, child, child birth, daily, daily life, family, faster, humor, i, kid, life, motherhood, parenting, put, speed

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