154 Funny something quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this guy is ready to capitalize on his unlimited supply of Ibuprofen 😂! Maybe he's onto something… Ibuprofen stand, anyone? 💊💰 #EntrepreneurialGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

  Commentary:
  📚😏 "Reading a book in public is like a public performance – you've got to hit that page 140 mark to avoid any judgmental side-eye! Because let's be real, flaunting the cover without the progress is like serving the appetizer without the main course! 😉📖"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs money and fame when you can have a whole lot of wrongness instead? 🤪💸 Embracing the chaos one post at a time! 😂📱 #WrongButFunny"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the rebellious act of reversing the dishwasher unload – a daring endeavor to break free from the monotony of daily tasks! 💪😄 Who knew kitchen chores could spark such excitement and adventure? Take that, ordinary routine! 🍽️♻️ #DishwasherDaring"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the modern multitasking maestro! 📺📱 Who needs to focus on just one thing when you can split your attention between TV drama and edutainment on Wikipedia? 😄 It's like watching a mystery show with the endless thrill of clicking through hyperlinks and learning random facts. Who knew being a couch potato could be so educational? 🛋️🧠 Keep embracing that dual-screen lifestyle – you're the definition of entertainment efficiency! 👏

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

  Commentary:
  "Friday the 13th used to bring the chills, but now it's just another day cursed with bad luck! 😱🔮 Who stole the spooky magic from the calendar? 📆#EverydayIsFridaythe13thNow"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

  Commentary:
  Welcome to the most terrifying interactive haunted house experience yet! 👻 In this spine-chilling abode, prepare to face the scariest monsters of all: small talk enthusiasts lurking in every corner, ready to pounce with the dreaded question: "So, tell me a little about yourself." 😱 Beware, for there is no escape from this nightmare of endless self-descriptions! Enter if you dare… and don't forget your elevator pitch! 🏚️💬

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

  Commentary:
  "Why did corn get all the attention when there's a whole world of food waiting to be exploded into greatness?! 🌽💥🍴 Maybe if we start exploding more foods, we'll uncover the next culinary revolution…or at least have some epic kitchen fails to laugh about! 😂🔥 #ExplodingEdibles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs supervillains when we have a superhero this chill? 🦸‍♂️😂 Just imagine a hero casually ironing their cape with laser vision – practicality at its finest! #SoupGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news: Buying more things equals less money in the bank! 💸💸 Who knew, right? Someone call the financial experts! 📉😂 #ShopTilYouDrop"

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