191 Funny ever quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

  Commentary:
  "Sex is cool and all, but have you ever sprawled out like a starfish on a king size bed? 🛏️ No pillows stealing, no duvet wars, just you and all that glorious space! 😂 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you have a bed fit for royalty, am I right?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a designer wardrobe when you can rock a hospital gown like a runway model? 💁‍♂️💸 Just remember, it's all about the accessories – like those stylish backless ties! 😂👗 #FashionStatement #HospitalChic"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine the #WWI memes and puns 🤣 The assassination that broke the internet before it was even a thing! #HistoryGoneViral 📱💥"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'it's not me, it's definitely you' argument! 🙄 Looks like someone's trying to channel their inner philosopher while shifting blame. 😅 Remember, it takes two to tango, but only one to make a dramatic exit! 💃🕺"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the daily struggle of adulting summed up perfectly! 😂 Embrace the cycle of looking forward to sleep while trying to stay awake during the day 🌛💤 #adultingwoes"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

  Commentary:
  Oh, poor Mercury, always catching the blame for retrograde! 🪐 Next time, let's check in with the cosmic bodies before casting our astrological frustrations. Maybe Mercury just needs a hug and some retrograde appreciation! 🌌 #CosmicConsiderations

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

  Commentary:
  "Well, that's one way to fast-track a relationship to 'exit' mode! 🏃‍♂️💨 Who needs a crystal ball when you've already got a clear vision of your future without them? 😂 Better luck next time in the roommate lottery! 🤷‍♀️🔮"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs Cupid's arrow when you have podcasts as the ultimate love deterrent? 💔😅 Tune in to their episodes and kiss that crush goodbye faster than you can say 'episode binge-watching!' 🎧😏 #LoveLessons #PodcastPower"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the tragic tale of birthday expectations crashing down with the force of a thousand unmet wishes! 🎉💔 It's like planning a grand fireworks show only to end up with a single sad sparkler! 🎇😅 Remember, it’s not just about the party hats, but the memories you make…or the hilarious memes that come out of it! 😂🎈"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

  Commentary:
  "Oh boy, talk about high stakes! 🤞🎲 Let's hope lady luck is on your side, or else you might end up celebrating your next anniversary in the doghouse! 🐶😅"

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