26 Funny gone quotes

• My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

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  3 weeks ago

  climate, forever, gone, humor, keys, life, lost, lost keys, misfortune, name, new, new life, new name, relocation, snow, start, time, under, warmer, warmer climate

• My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

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  4 weeks ago

  before, chaos, confusion, duck, even, ever, gone, humor, metaphor, organization, originality, places, row

• A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

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  1 month ago

  adult, always, being, chore, cleaning, daily, daily chore, day, gone, i, kitchen, matter, never, responsibility, takeout, thing

• I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

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  2 months ago

  after, gone, herd, herd mentality, humor, i, media, mentality, opinion, opinions, political, politics, post, satire, selfie, social, social media, sure, viral

• Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

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  2 months ago

  ago, apartment, days, disappearance, done, door, event, gone, humor, ignored, ignoring, mystery, small, small door, three, unexpected, unexpected event

• I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

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  2 months ago

  boss, employee, found, Funny, gone, hr, humor, i, joke, joke gone wrong, management, office, tell, told, workplace, workplace humor, wrong

• You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

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  2 months ago

  am, desperation, fantasy, give, gone, hr, HR manager, humor, i, job, manager, message, messages, money, prince, real, spam, tell, times, want

• Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

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  2 months ago

  boy, breakup, contact, contacts, delete, every, game, gone, hangman, humor, letter, name, names, relationship, revenge, time, upset

• Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

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  2 months ago

  age, aging, aging humor, comedy, culture, gone, humor, i, middle, middle age, movie, movie quote, orthopedist, pop, pop culture, something, tell, watermelon, welcome

• Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

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  2 months ago

  digital, forgot, gone, humor, life, lightbulb, login, man, modern, modern life, password, roommate, technology, too

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