168 Funny here quotes

• Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

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  2 months ago

  addiction, expensive, food, food humor, growing, here, humor, i, ketchup, lifestyle, me, money, obsession, relatable, ruin, think

• Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

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  2 months ago

  acting, cause, exist, extraterrestrial, girl, here, humor, humorous, humorous observation, husband, jealousy, observation, relationship, social, social humor, wife

• I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

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  2 months ago

  achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear

• I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

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  2 months ago

  always, always available, am, available, communication, digital, digital presence, hello, here, humor, i, instant, instant response, love, media, online, online communication, people, presence, quick, quick reply, reply, replying, response, seconds, social, social media, texting

• It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

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  2 months ago

  again, back, frustration, headache, health, here, humor, humor about health, i, illegal, nap, rest, should, shut, sleep, still, take, technology, wake, waking, waking up, why

• “I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

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  2 months ago

  city, different, here, hours, humor, i, living, myself, observation, relocation, said, travel

• I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

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  2 months ago

  anyone, bold, comedy, everyone, here, humor, irony, joke, offend, provocative, sarcasm

• You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

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  2 months ago

  aging, aging humor, aging joke, bathroom, forgetfulness, getting, here, humor, i, joke, know, old, past, thinking, walk, well, while

• There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

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  2 months ago

  bots, here, humor, internet, joke, online, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, technology, wars

• The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

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  2 months ago

  coffee, eating, economy, food, grass, here, humor, joke, matcha, people, satire, tough

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