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90 Funny keep quotes

Trending Funny Keep Quotes 🔥

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.
In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.
I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.
I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

More funny keep quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Commentary:
"Visiting an art museum can be dangerous… imagine becoming the latest exhibit titled 'Unsuspecting Visitor'! 🖼️😱 Who knew admiring art could come with a residency offer?"
2 months ago
Share →: Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the eternal mystery of men and their attachment to clothing well past its expiration date! 👕🕰 Perhaps they're waiting for their wardrobe to evolve into a vintage collection without the hassle of actually investing in new pieces. 😜 After all, shabby chic is a look too, right? Time to embrace the disintegrating fashion trend, gentlemen! 💁‍♂️🤷‍♂️
3 months ago
Share →: Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Commentary:
"Adult friendships be like: "Our plans are as flexible as a yoga instructor on a hot day" 💁‍♀️⏰😂 #ProcrastinationAtItsFinest"
3 months ago
Share →: Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Commentary:
😄😏 "Keep smiling, it makes people wonder if you've just discovered a secret stash of chocolate hidden in the office 😂🍫 Who knew that a simple grin could be so mysterious and intriguing? Keep 'em guessing, superstar!"
3 months ago
Share →: If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Keep you as a spare' – perfect for emotional emergencies and relationship punctures! 🧯 Better stock up on love and kindness, just in case you get called into action! 💔😅"
3 months ago
Share →: And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Commentary:
Well, isn't that the eternal question of life's mysteries – to clean or not to clean? 🤔🧹 Perhaps we should invent self-cleaning houses and save ourselves the trouble! 😅🏠After all, why bother dusting when it magically reappears the next day? #NeverEndingBattle ✨🤷‍♂️
3 months ago
Share →: I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Commentary:
Looks like the appetite for work went missing, but at least it's up for grabs now! 🍔🙅‍♂️ Finders, keepers! Happy hunting for that lost motivation! 🕵️‍♂️😂
4 months ago
Share →: So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal cycle of grocery bag inception: Within a bag, lies a bag, cradling more bags. It's like a bagception! 🛍️🔄♻️ Who knew our homes were secretly harboring a clandestine society of bags within bags, plotting their next shopping spree? Watch out, it's a bagvolution! 🌟😂 #Bagception"
4 months ago
Share →: An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Commentary:
"Who needs apples when you've got silliness to ward off the doctor and boredom alike? 🍎🤪 Keep the giggles coming to stay in tip-top shape! 😄 #SillyIsTheNewHealthy"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Commentary:
"Goodnight y'all, I'm off to catch some Z's! 🌙💤 And remember, keep the noise level at a respectable whisper…or not, I'll just dream of earplugs! 😂🛏️ #LightsOut"