Funny quotes keep Page 2

81 Funny keep quotes

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

3 months ago

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

3 months ago

I keep my mind active by worrying.

3 months ago

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

3 months ago

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

3 months ago

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

3 months ago

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

3 months ago

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

3 months ago

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

3 months ago

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

3 months ago

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

3 months ago

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

3 months ago

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

3 months ago

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

3 months ago

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

3 months ago

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

3 months ago

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

3 months ago

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

3 months ago

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

3 months ago

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

3 months ago