Funny quotes » true

29 Funny true quotes

  • Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

    Commentary:
    “Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room. 🔥👀 Better wear sunglasses just in case! 😎😂”

  • They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

    Commentary:
    “Water: the ultimate life force! 💧✨ Can’t survive without it… Especially when you’re in desperate need of that morning ☕️ fix! Who knew H2O had such power? 💦😄”

  • True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

    Commentary:
    “True friends don’t judge each other, they save their best critiques for the rest of the world! 👯‍♂️👀 #SquadGoals #FriendshipGoals”

  • My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

    Commentary:
    “Just imagine her out there, practicing her fake laughter skills, waiting for her true clown 🤡 to sweep her off her feet! Patience, Queen, your comedy king is on his way to make you laugh for real 😄💕 #RelationshipGoals”

  • I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the timeless wisdom of the internet – where facts are born, rumors flourish, and cats reign supreme! 🌐🙈 Trusting everything you read online is like believing all the gossip in a soap opera – just grab your popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😄 #FakeNews #InternetTruths

  • Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, dirty hair, clean heart! 💁‍♀️✨ Embrace the messy bun and let your inner fabulousness shine through, regardless of what those unruly thoughts may say! 🌟 #BadHairDayConfidence”

  • My life is based on a true story.

    Commentary:
    🤣 “My life is based on a true story… but it could definitely use some better editing and a few plot twists! 📚✨”

  • You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the age-old conundrum of the deceptive ‘stache! 🧐 It’s like a tiny, wiggly curtain trying to hide the true face behind it. 🎭 Beware the mustache charlatans, for their upper lip abode may not be what it seems! 🕵️‍♂️👨”

  • My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

    Commentary:
    Ah, Twitter – the magical land of 🌈unicorns and 🌟rainbows, where facts are as solid as a marshmallow and kindness flows like a river of emojis. Remember, in this enchanted realm, even the trolls have hearts of gold! ✨💖🦄 #KeepingItRealOnTwitter

  • It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

    Commentary:
    Well, it’s like watching a mystery unravel, only to find out the biggest mystery is how the police managed to misplace all the clues! 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ Time to call in the detective squad… or maybe just the Scooby Gang! 🐶🔍

Advertisement

Trending Topics

activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me need never parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm self-deprecation sleep social someone technology think time want work