69 Funny middle quotes

• Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

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  1 week ago

  basket, carry, carrying, convenience, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, middle, moments, much, overestimate, shopping, should, store, stores

• Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

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  1 week ago

  baptist, biblical, biblical figure, cartoon, cartoon character, character, figure, humor, John, John the Baptist, just, middle, middle name, name, pooh, same, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, wordplay

• I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

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  2 weeks ago

  agree, Christmas, commentary, employee, employees, feel, ghost, ghosts, holiday, holiday season, humor, i, important, meaning, middle, night, pay, pay raise, people, person, raise, remind, rich, rich person, season, social, social commentary, true

• We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

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  2 weeks ago

  cake, exaggeration, food, food shortage, house, humor, i, middle, never, perish, shortage, situation, snowstorm, survival, unexpected, unexpected situation, winter

• My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

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  1 month ago

  attitude, eye, eyes, finger, gesture, giving, humor, middle, middle finger, only, sarcasm, superpower, using

• Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

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  1 month ago

  communication, effort, humor, letter, letters, love, love letter, men, middle, much, nostalgia, reassurance, relationship, send, think, too, used, war, wars

• I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

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  2 months ago

  alligator, angry, bra, comparison, funny comparison, humor, i, middle, never, same, sports, sports bra, struggle, summer, taken, thing, wet, wrestling

• Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

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  2 months ago

  bit, breakup, call, divorce, expense, expensive, humor, just, marriage, middle, relationship, skip, stress

• Like most people my age, I’m 50.

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  2 months ago

  50, age, humor, joke, middle, middle age, most, people

• My middle finger salutes you.

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  2 months ago

  attitude, finger, gesture, humor, insult, middle, middle finger, rude, rude gesture, salute, sarcasm

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