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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Making waves on Messenger:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Trending via TikTok:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Breaking via Twitch:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Spotted on Instagram:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Going viral on Discord:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Making waves on Threads:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

70 Funny middle quotes

Funny middle quotes 🤪 are the unexpected comedy gems 🌟 that catch you off guard and leave you chuckling. Perfect for spicing up a conversation or adding a surprise twist to a speech, these quirky lines are like the punchline you never saw coming! Whether you’re looking to break the ice or just lighten the mood, let these humorous snippets tickle your funny bone and keep everyone laughing 😂!

New funny middle quotes 👇

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

4 hours ago

50s, age, aging, ailment, condition, health, humor, medical, medical condition, middle, middle age, mysterious, mysterious ailment, welcome
Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

7 hours ago

30s, 50s, ache, age, aging, complaint, everyone, good, humor, laugh, middle, middle age, moan, moaning, pain, welcome
Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

9 hours ago

age, aging, dark, dark humor, dead, getting, humor, middle, middle age, mortality, oh, pessimism, sarcasm, where
One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

9 hours ago

another, around, benefit, benefits, cat, confusion, creature, having, hear, middle, most, night, noise, pet, random, underrated
Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

9 hours ago

50s, age, aging, fitness, humor, middle, middle age, stretch, stretching, welcome, wrong
When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

12 hours ago

age, amazing, bangers, foods, funny observation, generation, i, kid, lame, middle, middle age, morning, music, nostalgia, observation, people, played, supermarket, whole, Whole Foods, youth
Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

13 hours ago

asleep, better, book, even, everyone, middle, nice, night, peaceful, quiet, reading, relaxation, sleep, solitude, therapy
Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

17 hours ago

age, aging, blurry, encounter, everything, eyesight, hearing, humor, loud, middle, middle age, too, welcome
Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

24 hours ago

40s, age, aging, back, back pain, every, flare-up, health, humor, know, middle, middle age, never, pain, random, random pain, time, welcome
I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

1 day ago

anxiety, detail, every, got, great, humor, i, insomnia, know, middle, night, overthinking, problem, problems, review, sleep, wake, worry

For even more funny middle quotes, hit next 👇

All funny middle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

57 shares on X this month:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

63 shares on Slack this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

92 shares on X this month:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Making waves on Messenger:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Seen just now on X:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Trending via Threads:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Just shared via Slack:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Going viral on Telegram:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Shared recently on Slack:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

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