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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

51 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Going viral on YouTube:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Trending via Snapchat:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Just landed via Reddit:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Reported on X:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Making waves on Discord:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Trending via Discord:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Just landed via Messenger:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Home » Funny Middle Quotes

44 Funny middle quotes

Funny middle quotes 🤪 are the unexpected comedy gems 🌟 that catch you off guard and leave you chuckling. Perfect for spicing up a conversation or adding a surprise twist to a speech, these quirky lines are like the punchline you never saw coming! Whether you’re looking to break the ice or just lighten the mood, let these humorous snippets tickle your funny bone and keep everyone laughing 😂!

New funny middle quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Commentary:
When life turns into a game of double middle-finger charades 🤨👐🏼😂
5 days ago
Share →: Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Commentary:
When your surgical assistant goes on a coffee break mid-surgery 😂🫀☕️
6 days ago
Share →: Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Commentary:
Turning 50: The decade where mystery pain becomes a daily subscription service! 🎉🛍️🤕
1 week ago
Share →: You give my middle finger an erection.

Commentary:
Well, my middle finger just hit the gym and is looking buff! 💪🤣🖕
1 week ago
Share →: Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Commentary:
Suddenly, we've all got a sequel called "I Carried a Bag of Groceries" lined up for the doctor's office! 🍉🩺🤣
1 week ago
Share →: Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Commentary:
"Heavy lifting Olympics: 0, Grocery Hulk: 1! 🏋️‍♂️🛒🤣"
1 week ago
Share →: The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Commentary:
"When you're single, you become a professional bed explorer—navigating from the 'Great Left Hills' to the 'Middle Valley' and ending at the 'Right Coast' every night! 😂🛏️🌍"
2 weeks ago
Share →: If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Commentary:
"Just making sure my vocabulary game isn't all smoke and mirrors! 📚🤓😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Commentary:
"Ha! That's the sound of your lawnmower dreaming of freedom! 🚜😅 Better put it on pause, buddy!"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Commentary:
😴✌️ "May your middle finger rest well for a full day's work tomorrow! It's hard being a hand star! 😆💪"

For even more funny middle quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny middle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

51 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Just shared via YouTube:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Making waves on Telegram:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Reported on Snapchat:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Just landed via TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Breaking via Facebook:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Live now on YouTube:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

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