56 Funny middle quotes — Wordgag ツ

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

5 hours ago5 hours ago

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

7 hours ago7 hours ago

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

1 month ago1 month ago

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

2 months ago2 months ago

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

2 months ago2 months ago

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

2 months ago2 months ago

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

2 months ago2 months ago

My middle finger salutes you.

2 months ago2 months ago

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

2 months ago2 months ago

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

2 months ago2 months ago

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

2 months ago2 months ago

You give my middle finger an erection.

2 months ago2 months ago

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

2 months ago2 months ago

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

2 months ago2 months ago

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

2 months ago2 months ago

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

2 months ago2 months ago