31 Funny 5 quotes

• Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

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  9 hours ago

  5, five, five years, funny response, good, good listener, humor, interview, interview question, interviewer, job, job interview, job interviewer, listener, me, question, response, strength, time, where, year’s, yourself

• Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

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  9 hours ago

  5, adult, back, birthday, communication, humor, interaction, media, nostalgia, people, social, social interaction, social media, texting, thanks

• People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

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  15 hours ago

  2, 5, age, baby, comparison, drink, humor, lifestyle, party, people

• Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

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  16 hours ago

  5, alcohol, drinking, drinks, explain, explanation, humor, intoxication, me

• I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

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  17 hours ago

  5, congrats, congratulation, drunk, drunk text, engagement, friend, girl, glasses, humor, i, media, old, old friend, post, reaction, social, social media, someone, spoken, sweet, text, wine

• I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

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  20 hours ago

  12, 5, am, early, early morning, i, love, midnight, morning, night, peace, quiet, solitude, world

• Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

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  21 hours ago

  5, body, body image, fatter, future, here, humor, i, image, joke, myself, self, weight, where

• You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

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  5 days ago

  5, affection, Asian, Asian parent, boom, children, cultural, cultural stereotype, family, form, hugging, humor, kissing, never, parent, parents, romance, stereotype

• It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

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  2 weeks ago

  5, 8, alcohol, beer, beers, comparison, day, drinking, drinking water, fat, Funny, funny comparison, hours, humor, impossible, impossible task, kid, seems, seesaw, shot, shots, task, water

• I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

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  3 weeks ago

  5, 9, am, humor, i, job, means, misunderstanding, think, time, used, work

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