154 Funny something quotes

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  3 days ago

  Share →: Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

  Commentary:
  "Lol, I'm officially fluent in Sarcasm Level 99! 🎓🤦‍♂️😂"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

  Commentary:
  "When I blow out birthday candles, I become a philosopher. 🎂💨🤔"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

  Commentary:
  "When your halo is just as fragile as your alibi 😇👀"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'Now You See Me, Now You Don't' technique! 😂👻 #UnfollowRoutine"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

  Commentary:
  "When a YouTube essay takes down your favorite movie, it's like finding out your pet goldfish has been running an underground gambling ring. 🎥😱🎣😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

  Commentary:
  "When even the error message throws in the towel, you know it's time to close the laptop and ask your toaster for tech support instead! 😂🍞💻"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

  Commentary:
  "Plot twist: Fido's secretly moonlighting as an air traffic controller 🐶✈️ 'Excuse me, got a tail-wag emergency in the kitchen!'"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

  Commentary:
  "When you realize your true weekend uniform is pajamas and a couch! 😂🛋️✨ #LivingTheDream"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

  Commentary:
  "Just trying to see if I'm a VIP or just a very confused 🧐📱😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

  Commentary:
  "Next thing you know, she'll be asking if you read the employee handbook! 📑🤣 #BreakupHR"

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