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131 Funny something quotes

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

2 weeks ago

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

2 weeks ago

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

3 weeks ago

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

1 month ago

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

1 month ago

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

2 months ago

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

2 months ago

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

2 months ago

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

2 months ago

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

2 months ago

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

2 months ago

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

3 months ago

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

3 months ago

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

3 months ago

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

3 months ago

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

3 months ago

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

3 months ago

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

3 months ago

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

3 months ago