Home » Funny Still Quotes » Page 7

162 Funny still quotes

Trending Funny Still Quotes 🔥

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.
Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.
Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.
I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.
My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

More funny still quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Commentary:
Ah, winter mornings – where the struggle to get out of bed is as real as the struggle to find daylight! 😴❄️ Embrace those extra hours of cozy lazing before the darkness creeps back in like a stealthy ninja. Who needs daylight savings when you've got a natural alarm clock telling you to hit snooze one more time? Stay snuggled up, my friends! ☀️🌒 #WinterWins #DaylightDilemma
5 months ago
Share →: I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Commentary:
"Ah, the trials and tribulations of being a speedy little swimmer in your past life 🏊‍♂️ Now it's all about taking it slow and enjoying the race at your own pace 🐢 Embrace your lazy greatness, former champion!"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Commentary:
Oh, the universe pulling a classic "let's see if you've learned anything" move! 🌌😂 It's like a cosmic replay button reminding us to level up and stop hitting repeat on the same ol' mistakes! Remember, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, maybe I need to reevaluate my life choices. 🔄🙈 #CosmicLessons
5 months ago
Share →: I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Commentary:
"Who needs a storage unit when you can just hoard shopping carts from Aldi? 🛒🤣 Clearly, this person is taking 'retail therapy' to a whole new level! What's next, a shopping cart castle in the backyard? ♛🏰"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Commentary:
"Imagine the plot twist of the century when your parents reveal their secret millionaire status 🤑💸 Until then, humility and patience are the name of the game! 🕰️😄 #KeepingItReal"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Commentary:
"Oh, Covid, the ultimate party crasher 🦠! It's like, 'Hey, I already survived your shenanigans once, isn't once enough?' 🙄 But nope, Covid's out here making surprise comebacks like a bad sequel 🎬. Can't help but feel a bit miffed about it, right? 😂 #RudeVirus"
5 months ago
Share →: Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Commentary:
Well, it looks like the timeless classic comeback of "what time is it/time for you to get a watch" is still ticking strong among the youths ⌚😂! Who knew that telling time could also tell us so much about Generation Z's sass levels! Keep clockin' those witty retorts, young ones! ⏰🕰️
5 months ago
Share →: It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Commentary:
"Taking a nap and waking up with a headache is like hitting the reset button on your brain, only to find out it's still running the same glitchy software! 💤🤕 #NapFail"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Commentary:
"Feeling optimistic? 🌟 Don't worry, life has a surplus of surprises lined up just for you! 🎁 Remember, disappointment is just another way of life saying 'plot twist'! 🔄 Keep marching on, your next letdown could be just around the corner! 🚶‍♂️💔"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Commentary:
"Don't worry about ghosts haunting you, worry about the living holding grudges! 👻👻 Who needs ghosts when you've got a lineup of enemies ready to scare you right out of your sleep? 😂 #GhostFreeZone"