78 Funny run quotes

• I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

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  2 weeks ago

  child, children, ed, family, humor, husband, multitasking, opinion, parenting, phone, pregnancy, run, scrolling, sex, sex ed, should, strong, taught, third, through, weeks, while, wild, woman

• I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

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  3 weeks ago

  3, 30, add, day, every, exaggeration, exercise, game, humor, i, management, minutes, miss, next, procrastination, run, running, time, time management, tomorrow, truly, weeks, workout

• In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

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  4 weeks ago

  20s, before, dating, demon, dream, dreams, evil, important, light, loser, love, man, narcissist, relationship, run

• A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

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  1 month ago

  better, competition, cycling, cyclist, faster, humor, i, me, run, shark, speed, swim, triathlon

• “I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

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  1 month ago

  boomerism, boss, communication, electric, feels, humor, man, marriage, married, married man, peak, phrase, run, say

• Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

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  1 month ago

  anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work

• My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

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  2 months ago

  9, around, estimate, going, home, humor, i, job, jobs, money, night, plan, quit, relationship, run, tonight, travel, well, wife

• It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

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  2 months ago

  account, attraction, dating, hot, humor, Instagram, man, me, media, poorly, run, social, social media

• Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

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  2 months ago

  dating, exercise, fitness, girl, humor, i, interaction, me, noticed, run, today, walk

• I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

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  2 months ago

  always, darth, Darth Vader, ever, everywhere, hell, hero, humor, i, just, run, running, saunter, seen, sprint, style, vader, villain, walking, walking style

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