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Wordgag ツ
10,000+ funny quotes
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104 Funny start quotes
I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.
3 months ago
If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.
3 months ago
Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.
3 months ago
Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.
3 months ago
Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!
3 months ago
I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.
3 months ago
Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.
3 months ago
I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.
3 months ago
I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.
3 months ago
The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.
3 months ago
I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.
3 months ago
Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”
3 months ago
I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.
3 months ago
I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.
3 months ago
I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?
3 months ago
If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.
3 months ago
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
3 months ago
Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
3 months ago
Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”
3 months ago
If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
3 months ago
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